Presidon don miss!

Dem say the president of Nigeria dey miss. Nobody know wetin don happen to am. Some say e don quench, others say im brain don kolo, some say na sleep dey do am. In fact, nobody for the whole country know where dey do the man. The only thing wey dem know be say, im dey Saudi Arabia for one hospital. Na fear everybody dey now. Nobody know wetin go happen.

Dem catch one small boy for plane say im wan bomb the whole plane plus including imself. The boy na abroad im for dey study wey loneliness catch am. Na im some internet people come convince am make im go carry bomb. The whole wahala dey court for America. Meanwhile, no more visa for the remaining innocent people wey wan go dat side. Na wa.

Una do well.

Animal self no dey escape law

Dem don arrest one goat for kwara state, say the goat na human being wey turn to goat. The police people say na as dem be dey chase the human being na so the person just put back for wall, turn to goat. Na im dem bundle the goat go police station. The goat dey prison as we dey speak.

Presido don go holiday. As New Year land finish, na im presido carry im legs go do enjoyment.

Dem don fine one oyibo company "Halliburton" say dem dey give our Nigerian government people dem, plenty plenty bribe so make dem dey get all the better contract dem.

The Governor of Yobe state don die. Dem say na leukemia na im kill am.

Una do well.

Government arrest!

Na so government just dey arrest people anyhow. Left, right and center!

For Kano, dem arrest two dancers dem, say dem dey dance anyhow dey corrupt the people for kano state dem mind.

For Abuja, dem arrest one man wey dey write political things dem for internet. Na SSS arrest am, say the man dey give government wahala.

President dey shuffle and reshuffle all im government people dem. In fact, if e sack anybody at anytime.

Una do well

Presido don appear

Our president wey don dey miss for many days na, don surface. Some people say na Saudi Arabia im be dey hide, say im get some kain sickness dem. The man come show face, come sack some of im people join matter self.

Niger-Delta wahala still dey, dem dey commision one thing or the other every day.

Big brother don start again, and people don dey complain left, right and center.

Olympics end, Nigeria win small thing.

Una do well.

Summit runs!

Niger-Delta summit: Dem say dem wan gather all the "ITK"(I too know!)people dem for the country, make dem siddon yarn, find solution for all the wahala wey Niger Delta get. Na so oh, everybody dey put mouth for the matter, so tey one Gambari man wey suppose know book pass just comot e own hand for the matter. Dem still dey yarn dey go.

Grain theif: As scarcity of food reach poor man, na im government come distrubute grains dem make dem reach all those poor poor areas dem. Now, dem come find out say all those tonns of grains dem, no be poor man e reach oh. Na big big men dem, na im collect dem, come keep for house. Senators oh, emirs oh, governors oh...plenty plenty big man na im collect grain.

Warri wahala: All those useless warri youths dem, don dey fight again, dey disturb everywhere with their local guns dem.

Una do well

One year since President enter office

My people, na birthday we dey celebrate now oh. Presidon don land one year in office. Some people dey complain say nothing don happen since the man land.

Iyabo Obasanjo, our ex-presido daughter enter real hot peppersoup. Infact, dis tory na long one oh. Dem say she thief plenty money wey im suppose return. Na im all those efcc people com dey pursue am, na so the babe jump fence oh! Na so, she come be fugitive, small time na im she turn herself for police station. For the police station, na so she come dey request all sorts, air condition, pure water and other mede medes wey only all those rich people know. Anyway, dem don give am bail now. Na there tory end.

Two of our great musicians dem, don leave us. Make una pray for their families oh. Rest in peace, Sonny Okosuns and Steve Rhodes.

Una do well.

Money dey miss road anyhow!

Dem don sack some ministers because dem no wan return all their surplus money dem. Na over 300 million na im dey miss road, dey go christmas bonus and all other awoof plus longthroat projects dem for government. Na so money dey miss road so tey some of dem say na school work dem use the money do for ghana. Na wa.

Dem don sack governor of edo state say no be im win election. Dem come put one correct guy there, but na so tory come get k leg. Small time, na im dem talk say one commissioner dey miss for their state. Small time, dem find the commisioner dead body for one hotel. No be small thing oh, our police people dem dey investigate, tory never finish.

Ibori case still dey go on.

Dem never still find the plane wey miss for air.

Una do well